Remember that nursing student I blogged about the other day? The one who went on a disgustingly misogynistic diatribe in his student newspaper because someone couldn’t wipe his runny nose fast enough since harlots were getting birth control? Well, Ben Cochran’s apology was printed in the same newspaper today.

“Apology.”

If you were among the many who were offended by my column last week, then let me take this opportunity to offer you a heartfelt apology. I am well aware that my stance was not a popular one. As an Opinion columnist, my primary goal is to generate informed discussion. To that end, I intentionally try to be provocative. As such, sometimes my columns offend people. Please understand that my intent was not to cause people to become enraged. I simply hoped they would disagree with the expressed opinion and state reasons for that disagreement. I wanted to see a lively debate, and hopefully, learn something in the process. The position I argued for is a valid opinion by virtue of the fact that it is an opinion. Unfortunately, my word choice was not the best. I cannot believe I said “conscientious” when I really meant “conscious,” among other things. From now on, I will take greater care to exercise better judgment. As always, your responses are welcomed and encouraged.

…what a sack of shit. You have quite the class act there, East Carolina University.

“I’m sorry that you were offended by my perfectly correct and true statements” is the oldest not-pology in the book. And it’s also the biggest sign that you’re either incredibly dense, or incredibly full of yourself. Or in this case, likely both. Seriously, it’s not your provocative language that was the root of the problem – it’s the outright hatred of women and appalling ignorance about women’s health. Your choice of words just made that misogyny crystal clear, as if there was ever any question.

And really, “conscientious” instead of “conscious”? You have hundreds of people emailing your (female) Dean of Nursing explaining why you’re not fit to be a nursing student, and you respond by being a total smartass?

I hope this letter gets stapled to ever job or school application you ever submit. Prepare to have a Google Problem, Ben Cochran.

Did I mention his name was Ben Cochran? I’d say it a third time, but I’m afraid he’ll appear out of thin air.