So I went home this weekend to see family and friends. Whenever my friend Mike and I get together, for some unholy reason we play Trivial Pursuit (the most aptly named board game ever). It usually starts off fun, but ends in me throwing pieces after I’ve missed my wedge question for Sports & Leisure or Entertainment for the 15th time. Though this time was special – I couldn’t find our new version of the game, so we had to settle for my parents’ ancient 1981 version. Just to give you some perspective on how hard that is for us, I was born in 1987, Russia was the USSR, and you have to differentiate between East and West Germany.

But what was the worst category? Science and Nature. Usually that’s my go-to subject, but the questions were so ridiculous I had to write some of them down. My four favorites:

Q: What’s the only mammal that can’t fly that can fly?
Me: …Are you kidding me?
A: Man
Mike: That sounds more like a joke than a trivia question.

Q: What sign of the zodiac falls between Nov 22 and Dec 21?
Me: What the hell?!?!?! Why is there an astrology question in SCIENCE and NATURE?!
A: Sagittarius (Unfortunately I knew it anyway, I was a big astrology buff back in the day…I know, we all have our shortcomings)
And then we proceeded to get FIVE MORE astrology questions throughout the game. I can only imagine how many there were total.

Q: Name the three Kingdoms of nature.
Me: Three?? Aren’t there like, five kingdoms? Damnit, old game.
Mike: Well, what are the five?
Me: Um…animals, plants, fungi, protists, and bacteria or whatever. Hm…what three would they say in 1981… I’m going to say Animals, plants, and bacteria.
A: Animal, vegetable, mineral
Me: What the hell?! Mineral isn’t even a living thing! (And upon further inspection, the five kingdoms were developed in 1969, so screw you Trivial Pursuit)

Q: What’s considered the most highly specialized mammal?
Me: …Well technically each mammal is highly specialized for the particular niche it evolved in. What the hell is this even asking?
A: The whale
Me: I hate this game

In conclusion, don’t play old versions of Trivial Pursuit unless you want to be frustrated, or you want a unique outlook on how far we’ve come in science in the last 30 years. Or you want to watch your scientist friends throw mini tantrums.