I celebrate the Super Bowl exactly how I celebrate religious holidays like Christmas and Easter. I could care less about the “true meaning” of the celebration – I’m just happy I get to spend time with friends, eat delicious food, and be happy. Because those things are what matter, not Jesus or what team wins.

I don’t know what teams are playing, but I do know there’ll be guacamole and laughing at sexist beer commercials. Good enough for me.