I’m back home for the holidays – home being Northwest Indiana, which is effectively part of Chicago. This area is way more liberal than West Lafayette, so it’s always a bit of a relief…but that doesn’t mean it’s completely void of religious wackiness. For example, here are two short articles in our local newspaper, both titled “Christmas miracles?”:

JUDY FIDKOWSKI | THE TIMES Jason Amaya, 19, of Lake Station, holds a Cheeto that, to him, resembles Our Lady of Guadalupe, a celebrated Catholic image of the Virgin Mary.

JEFF BURTON | THE TIMES Last month, Renee Sperka noticed a unique spot on the wood paneling in the basement of her Hammond home. She and many of her friends believe it resembles the image of Jesus Christ.

Come on, wood paneling and a cheeto? Those have totally already been done before. You think the lord would be able to come up with more creative ways to reveal himself.

Christmas miracles? …I think the answer to that is “No.”