“What is your favorite curse word?”


Okay, that’s not very creative. But it’s so versatile! Is there a way you can’t use it? Maybe not as a preposition… And you can even add stuff to it. Fucktard. Fuckward. Fuckballs.

Other than that, I’m a fan of the more funny, nonsensical, bizarre swear words. Asshat (just imagine a top hat on someone’s butt, it’s funny), douchenozzle (why so specific?!), douchebagel (don’t ask).

I also have some not-really-swear-words that I use as substitutions.* Fudgemuffin is my delicious sounding replacement for fuck. Buttmonkey is basically your bitch who does stuff for you. Meatblanket/shield/purse/etc is a person you’re just using for some task (they’re probably also your buttmonkey).

This isn’t exactly swearing, but I also have a bad habit of saying “I pooped it out” when I mean “I finished that task/project in a very quickly, with probably reduced quality.” This probably would have been good for my twitter followers to know months ago. No, I haven’t been talking about my bowel movements.

What creative swearing or other language do you use?

*I actually never cursed until I got to college, so I had to be creative. I grew up in house where I couldn’t even say “crap” or “sucks” (even though my parents liberally swore and dropped f-bombs around me, hmph). At least it’s better now that I’m an adult. When McCain said his bear DNA nonsense on TV, I lost control and yelled “Fuck you!!” and my mom cheered me on in agreement.