If I haven’t given you enough evidence of how awesome my sister-in-law Erin is, she took me to Coney Island for a burlesque show. Not just any burlesque show… but Colonel Cornstar’s Cuntry Fair. Complete with a heavy petting zoo.Yes, a farm themed burlesque show. You know it had to be awesome.
But the cherry on top was the celebrity sighting we had there. We were standing in line waiting to get in when someone walked by who looked oddly familiar. I thought maybe I was seeing things, since 1) he was way more stubbly looking than usual and 2) we had just talked about seeing celebrities not an hour before, so maybe I just had celebrities on the brain. I peered at him as he was buying a drink two feet away, and eventually poked Erin, and she confirmed.
It was Ted Allen of Chopped, Food Detectives, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I’m a Food Network fan and he’s my favorite persona (well, tied with Alton Brown), not to mention my favorite one from the Fab Five. He was there with his boyfriend and a couple of friends. I definitely flailed with glee. By pure luck I ended up sitting about two seats away from him.
The show itself was hilarious and awesome. I loved the pig who was covered in balloons, popped them with her tail, and then jumped in a bucket of “mud.” Ted Allen appeared to really get a kick out of the I Want Candy bit:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmIajYlHtqA&fs=1&hl=en_US]
As the night went on, the skits became more bizarre and less farm themed. They included:
- A conservative homophobic uber Christian coming out looking like Hester Prynne, stripping down as she has a crisis of faith, and then pulling fifteen feet of rainbow rope out of her vagina. If you think I’m making this up, there’s a NSFW video here.
- A “white trash” girl screwed herself with one of those long skinny spiral lollipops. Yes, literally. I have no idea why or what that had to do with the rest of the show, but it definitely got a reaction out of the audience.
- The inspiration for all of my future nightmares. She came out wearing a terrifying clown mask and 6 inch heels, and threw squirt guns into the audience while holding a sign that said “Shoot the Freak.”
Here she is:And here’s Ted Allen shooting the freak:
Unfortunately he was always busy with his friends or getting a picture taken with the naked Pig Girl, so I didn’t get a chance to butt in and awkwardly ask for a photo. I didn’t realize until later that he was also a Purdue alumni – I could have had a good intro! Ah well. The experience alone was worth it. I mean, how many people get to say they watched a burlesque show with Ted Allen?
Delightfully bizarre.
(Videos via Year in Dance, the blog of the dancer with the magical rainbow rope hiding vagina)
5,712 comments
LAFW says:
Jul 6, 2019
LAFW
[…]although internet sites we backlink to below are considerably not connected to ours, we really feel they are in fact really worth a go as a result of, so have a look[…]
زنگ های هشدار says:
Jul 6, 2019
دوربین
With respect to ergonomics and the innovative technilogy Heuer replica watches have been the fantastic samples of athletics watches.
اسکوتر شارژی بچه گانه says:
Jul 6, 2019
اسکوتر
Wonderful blog! I identified it whilst browsing about on Yahoo Information. Do you have any suggestions on how to get outlined in Yahoo News? I have been striving for a even though but I never ever appear to get there! Cheers
Fashion Week says:
Jul 6, 2019
Fashion Week
[…]here are some hyperlinks to web sites that we link to due to the fact we consider they’re worth visiting[…]
hotels says:
Jul 6, 2019
hotels
[…]just beneath, are many absolutely not associated sites to ours, on the other hand, they may be surely really worth going over[…]
کابینت says:
Jul 6, 2019
کابینت
here are some back links to web internet pages that we url to since we feel they’re actually really worth browsing
راهنمای خرید اسکوتربرقی says:
Jul 7, 2019
اسکوتر
Many thanks for yet another useful web internet site. The spot else could I get that kind of data created in such an excellent technique?I have a venture that I’m just now operating on, and I have been at the appear outfor such information.
اسکوتر برقی آفرود says:
Jul 7, 2019
اسکوتر
Hey, I consider your website may well be getting browser compatibility issues. When I search at your weblog in Chrome, it appears good but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just desired to give you a quick heads up! Other th…
اسکوتر دسته دار says:
Jul 8, 2019
اسکوتر
What’s up it’s me, I am also browsing this site on a normal foundation, this site is really pleasant and the viewers are in fact sharing very good thoughts.
قیمت اسکوتر برقی خیلی ارزان says:
Jul 9, 2019
اسکوتر
below are some back links to internet pages that we website link to given that we come to feel they are actually well worth going to
هاوربرد چگونه کار می کند says:
Jul 9, 2019
اسکوتر
Hey there! I just lately noticed your internet site and I certainly appreciate it. I really like to talk about omega xl from time to time. Good to be about, many thanks a lot!
بهترین اسکوتر برقی آفرود اتوبالانس says:
Jul 9, 2019
اسکوتر
Check out below, are some completely unrelated net-internet sites to ours, however, they’re most dependable resources that we use.
courier to Bosnia And Herzegovina from Delhi says:
Jul 9, 2019
Just check this …
Just take a second to visit the internet sites we have linked to …
buildcredit says:
Jul 9, 2019
Recent Blogroll …
You may take a second to check out the subject material from this web-sites we’ve linked to on this post…
how to tell if mice are gone says:
Jul 9, 2019
Recent Blogroll …
You may take a second to stop by the material from this web-sites we have linked to on this post…
دوربین مدار بسته چیست says:
Jul 10, 2019
دوربین
here are some back links to internet sites that we url to since we believe they’re really worth visiting
پنل نمایندگی فروش vpn says:
Jul 10, 2019
vpn ایفون
Howdy there! Do you know if they make any plugins to aid with Search Engine Optimization? I’m striving to get my weblog to rank for some specific search phrases but I’m not observing extremely great results. If you know of any you should share. Enjoy i…
ویژگی های دوربین مدار بسته Hikvision DS-2CV1021G0-IDW1 says:
Jul 10, 2019
دوربین
typically posts some incredibly intriguing things like this. If youre new to this site
دوربین مدار بسته بولت says:
Jul 11, 2019
دوربین
please pay a visit to the sites we stick to, this sort of as this one certain, as it represents our picks by means of the world wide web
business says:
Jul 12, 2019
business
[…]very couple of web-sites that transpire to be in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]
دوربین مدار بسته در رستوران says:
Jul 13, 2019
دوربین
Hi would you mind allowing me know which webhost you’re employing? I’ve loaded your weblog in three totally different browsers and I need to say this blog loads a great deal faster then most. Can you recommend a great internet hosting supplier at a tru…
دوربین مدار بسته در خانه says:
Jul 13, 2019
دوربین
we desire to honor tons of other net internet-websites on the web, even when they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages actually value examining out
دوربین های مدار بسته با قابلیت تشخیص says:
Jul 13, 2019
دوربین
It is likely to be conclude of mine working day, nevertheless ahead of end I am reading through this wonderful post to enhance my expertise.
نگهداری دوربین های مدار بسته says:
Jul 13, 2019
دوربین
Good submit! We will be linking to this great submit on our site. Preserve up the very good writing.
دوربین های مدار بسته برای مراقبت از کودکان says:
Jul 14, 2019
دوربین
Hi there there! Do you know if they make any plugins to aid with Look for Motor Optimization? I’m striving to get my website to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not looking at extremely very good final results. If you know of any remember to sha…
دوربین بی سیم بیرون از خانه says:
Jul 14, 2019
دوربین
Admiring the commitment you set into your website and in depth info you offer. It’s great to arrive throughout a weblog every as soon as in a although that is not the identical outdated rehashed data. Great go through! I have bookmarked your website an…
دوربین های مدار بسته های لوک (HiLook) says:
Jul 14, 2019
دوربین
I’m actually loving the topic/design of your net internet site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A little variety of my blog audience have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks wonderful in…
money for college says:
Jul 14, 2019
money for college
[…]we came across a cool website which you may love. Take a look should you want[…]
مدل کابینت 2019 says:
Jul 15, 2019
کابینت
Right here are several of the world wide web web sites we recommend for our site visitors
دکوراسیون آشپزخانه ترکیه says:
Jul 16, 2019
کابینت
We completely love your website and uncover nearly all of your post’s to be what exactly I’m seeking for. Does one particular supply visitor writers to write material for you? I would not head producing a post or elaborating on a good deal of the topic…
آدرس پروکسی رایگان تلگرام says:
Jul 16, 2019
vpn ایفون
below are some links to internet sites that we link to given that we feel they’re really worth browsing
بهترین رنگ کابینت ام دی اف says:
Jul 17, 2019
کابینت
When I at first commented I clicked the “Notify me when new remarks are added” checkbox and now each and every time a remark is additional I get three email messages with the same remark. Is there any way you can get rid of me from that services? Thank…
طرح کابینت آشپزخانه says:
Jul 17, 2019
کابینت
Appreciating the time and energy you put into your website and thorough data you offer. It’s great to appear throughout a blog each and every as soon as in a whilst that is not the exact same undesired rehashed details. Great study! I have saved your w…
vpn رسیور استارمکس says:
Jul 18, 2019
vpn ایفون
Hey, I consider your web site might be getting browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it appears fine but when opening in Web Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just desired to give you a rapid heads up! Other then that, am…
دکوراسیون اتاق خواب says:
Jul 19, 2019
کابینت
I totally enjoy your site and locate a great deal of your post’s to be just I’m looking for. Does a single supply visitor writers to compose material offered for you? I wouldn’t head making a submit or elaborating on a number of of the topics you compo…
dumpling kingdom says:
Jul 20, 2019
dumpling kingdom
[…]very few web sites that happen to become detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly really worth checking out[…]
دکوراسیون داخلی آشپزخانه کوچک says:
Jul 20, 2019
کابینت
Do you have a spam issue on this website I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation we have created some great methods and we are searching to swap methods with other individuals, be positive to shoot me an email if interested.
afiliado says:
Jul 21, 2019
afiliado
[…]please check out the web sites we adhere to, like this 1, because it represents our picks in the web[…]
ganhar dinheiro says:
Jul 21, 2019
ganhar dinheiro
[…]that would be the finish of this article. Right here youll find some internet sites that we believe you will enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over[…]
خرید vpn says:
Jul 21, 2019
vpn ایفون
we arrived across a great site that you just could possibly delight in. Take a look in situation you want
Backlinks from Private Blog Network says:
Jul 21, 2019
Backlinks from Private Blog Network
[…]usually posts some quite exciting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
www.mobileanaestheticservices.com.au says:
Jul 22, 2019
Wonderful story …
Here are a couple of unrelated information, nevertheless genuinely really worth taking a your time to visit this website
bad credit loans says:
Jul 24, 2019
bad credit loans
[…]below youll locate the link to some sites that we assume you ought to visit[…]
خرید vpn says:
Jul 24, 2019
vpn ایفون
We completely love your weblog and find nearly all of your post’s to be what precisely I’m searching for. Does one particular supply guest writers to create content for you? I wouldn’t head creating a submit or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you…
خرید vpn says:
Jul 24, 2019
vpn ایفون
Proper now it seems like Movable Variety is the prime running a blog platform out there appropriate now. (from what I have read) Is that what you are utilizing on your website?
Lebron James says:
Jul 24, 2019
Lebron James
[…]just beneath, are many absolutely not connected internet sites to ours, nevertheless, they may be certainly worth going over[…]
اندازه چرخ اسکوتر برقی says:
Jul 27, 2019
اسکوتر
here are some hyperlinks to web sites that we website link to considering that we consider they’re value browsing
دکوراسیون داخلی آشپرخانه مدرن says:
Jul 28, 2019
کابینت
Sohan is also becoming accused of leaving the jurisdiction in December last yr without authorization.
زیباترین دکوراسیون داخلی مدرن says:
Jul 28, 2019
کابینت
the time to review or get a look at the content or web-sites we have joined to underneath the
دوربین مدار بسته Hikvision DS-2CV1021G0-IDW1 says:
Jul 28, 2019
دوربین
Write far more, thats all I have to say. Actually, it seems as however you relied on the video clip to make your level. You certainly know what youre talking about, why squander your intelligence on just putting up movies to your internet site when you…