The next day we went to Epcot, which was a horrible but necessary decision. It was a Thursday, and we knew it would be super busy if we went on any other day of our trip. On the other hand, we were exhausted from the drive and Magic Kingdom. That set the mood for a miserable beginning of the day. Vanessa had lost her driver’s license at MK, so she spent the first hour and a half wandering around Disney trying to find the lost and found office since they would never let her off hold on the phone.

I totally geeked out when I saw this. I was too lazy to get on the ground again for DNA, though.

Ben, Jeff, and I tried to waste time while she was gone, but we didn’t want to go on any of the rides she liked without her. But in the end, it didn’t matter because pretty much every ride was down, including the giant globe-y thingy. So much for embracing technology of the future and all that jazz. I was especially sad Honey I Shrunk the Audience had just been closed, because I had liked that one a lot when I was little.

Eventually Vanessa came back, and we decided the only thing that would make us happy was food. On the way to eat, we ran into Mulan and got photos with her, which made us feel a little better. Ben, Jeff, and I ate at Morocco (which ironically was hosting Aladdin and Jasmine…really, Disney? Really?), and Vanessa ate in America. I really wanted to make fun of her for doing so, but she was already ticked off from losing her license that I resisted doing my worst.

A Norwegian troll, much nicer than the Internet version.

Then the day got infinitely better because we played the Kimpossible spy game, which was the best thing ever. Seriously, the next time I go to Epcot, I’m doing nothing but play that game all day. Basically they give you a cell phone and send you to one of the countries at Epcot, and then you have to find certain things in that country and activate them with your phone. So if you’re standing by the koi pond, then a little waterfall will become activated. Honestly it’s probably just a ploy to lead you into the stores, but it was pretty much an awesome treasure hunt with animated things you could control. I enjoyed it the most – the other three just enjoyed watching me run around like a fool and dance to the spy music.
I also love it because it led me to A PILE OF POKEMON DOLLS SQUEEEEE! I bought an Eevee and Snorlax.

Happiness was momentarily dashed when I overheard a ten year old boy say how he wants to find homos and punch them in the face. And then he and his class (field trip, I guess) cut us in line for ice cream. Little bastards. But then I got my humongous ice cream cone, and I felt better again.

Then rides started working again, so Epcot didn’t suck as much. Ellen’s Energy Adventure was pretty great (Ellen + Bill Nye + Science = Win), and so was Test Track. We also finally got to go on the big globe thingy. Again, it cracked me up that the “future” and “progress” was defined by technology we had in the 90s. Oh, and apparently this is how all female scientists dress:

I also got to ride on a segway! I was seriously geeking out about this. I have absolutely no sense of balance, so it was tricky at first for me. Then I started to get the hang of it, so the lady training me was going to let go of the handles.

Lady: Now, look straight ahead, just like you’re riding a bike *lets go*
Me: *starts frantically going backwards* I never learned how to ride a bike!

Lady: *grabs on* Okay, let’s scrap that idea.


For dinner we ate in England, mainly because it was the cheapest place we could find. Apparently Brits eat nothing but fish and chips, and drink nothing but Bass and Harp.

This photo has nothing to do with England, I just thought it was funny.

I was amused that there was a group of about 25 British people eating around us. I still don’t understand why you would eat at your own country at Epcot, especially when it’s going to be the greasy American version of your traditional food. The fish and chips were pretty nasty. Though I was amused at listening to all the children with their cute British accents. Did you know crying can have an accent? This was probably the first time ever a crying, tantrum-throwing child didn’t annoy me, because his screams totally sounded British and adorable!
Revenge for eating the fish and chips.

We half heartedly watched the fireworks before limping back to the car. I don’t know how parents with small children do it. I felt like dying after two days, and that was with setting my own pace!
D’awww, it looks like we all like each other or something!

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  1. Vanessa says:

    Jun 7, 2010

    Ahhh, leave me alone! I like American food, why should I spend a lot of money on food I only kind of like? ‘Sides, that hot dog was really good!

  2. Andrew Hall says:

    Jun 7, 2010

    I once had a crepe at Epcot…I don’t suggest the crepes.http://laughinginpurgatory.blo

  3. Amanda says:

    Jun 7, 2010

    See, I’m one of those twisted Florida natives who adores Epcot. And the segway testing rocked. What cracked me up was the lady helping me asked “Are you sure you haven’t been on one of these before?” So apparently I’m made for geek transpo. Loved it!

  4. Robert B says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    “I bought an Eevee and Snorlax.”But I heard you liek mudkipz.

  5. The Mad Dreaner says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    Jen, could you post a picture of the Eevee you bought? My girlfriend wants to see because Eevee is her favourite.

  6. Hugo Grinebiter says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    Was in Berlin recently, almost got run over by a Segway safari. Hope they don’t catch on, because it was an uncouth “out of our way, peasants” vibe. You should have updated your evolutionary biology with the troll. You may be descended from apes, but Norwegians are descended from trolls. Of course, there are hybrids too.

  7. Alexrkr7 says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    Not to harp on your trip but why didn’t you go to the MGM section of Disney World? Rockin’ Rollercoster is the shiznit (or whatever the kids are saying these days*) The Tower of Terror has a fitting name and when I was there they had an Indiana Jones performance. Oh and the Mars trip (not in the MGM section though)!!! Ok, sorry brings back good memories. Hope you had a blast!*I’m 20

  8. A-M says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    I am embarassed to say we are English and ate in England at Epcot. I wanted to eat in France, but we’d already been in the States for a week and my husband was desperate for something he recognised. BTW, Harry Ramsden’s is WAY better here! Also, you could have your photo taken with Mary Poppins in England. At least that is geographically accurate. Epcot got two thumbs-up from me.

  9. RHB says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    Epcot mustn’t know that London is now the food capital of the world! I just got back from three weeks in England and every meal was fantastic (and only two of them consisted of fish and chips) AND there are hundreds and hundreds of wonderful BEERS!Your Britons were probably just being ironic, like I was when I visited London Bridge in its new(-ish) location in Lake Havasu City (AZ) and drank a pint of Watney’s Red (Yeuch! Yeuch! Yeuch!!) Barrel.

  10. Ratshag says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    Every. Person. Comes. Out. Tired.

  11. gelf says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    The way parents of small children do it is with lots of caffeine, free transportation after you try the beers/wines in all the countries, and by vowing to NEVER go back to Disney again. Until the next child gets to be about 5YO and you have forgotten the pain.

  12. JT says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    If only the cone of boob induced blindness could have resulted in you trampling the homophobic-ice cream line cutting-lil-bastard, the world would have been a better place…With shorter lines for ice cream.

  13. wcoenen says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    AFAIK all my friends, family and acquaintances know how to ride a bike (not counting those who are simply too young). Is it common in the USA to not have this skill?

  14. SuperHappyJen says:

    Jun 8, 2010

    On Friday I’ll be leaving for a trip to California with my two small children. Excited, but slightly dreading doing the theme park thing with kids. When kids are tired they tantrum, which by now I’m sure you’ve experienced first hand.

  15. Denis says:

    Jun 9, 2010

    You are supposed to lean over in front of the troll to make it look like it is spanking you!

  16. The naked atheist says:

    Jun 10, 2010

    “Apparently Brits eat nothing but fish and chips, and drink nothing but Bass and Harp.”Oh no, one of your fellow Merkins came to London with a suitcase full of Oreo’s because she’d heard that we eat nothing but Possum, which of course is absurd, we don’t have Possum here in the Untied Kingdom., but we do a nice line in whelks (Yuk!).

  17. Vlmetiva says:

    Jun 10, 2010

    No. Jen gets made fun of all the time for not knowing.

  18. Jen says:

    Jun 10, 2010

    It’s true, I’m a freak of nature

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