girly

Friday Feminist Roundup

No, I don’t plan on making this a weekly tradition – I’m not organized enough to have required themes for certain days. I just have a bunch of feminism related articles that I’ve accumulated throughout a busy week, and I figure I’d dump them all at once.

  • Australia bans porn containing female ejaculation and small breasts. Why? Apparently they think female ejaculation is just urination and fake body fluids. Yeah, not sure how it can be both. And the small boobies? Apparently if you’re an A cup, that’s too close to pedophilia. Thank you Australia, as if women weren’t insecure enough about their bust size, now a huge group is too creepy to think about sexually because they’re not womanly enough. Awesome.
  • School district pulls Diary of Anne Frank because Anne, a developing young woman, dared to talk about vaginas. Apparently female genitalia is the most horrifying aspect of the book, not the fact that she was forced to live in hiding from fear of death and then later died in a concentration camp. Overprotective parents are awesome.
  • In case games for girls weren’t mollifying enough, you can now get a Ouija board in pink! Because apparently the gender neutral versions don’t channel ghosts who can answer girl specific questions like “Who will call you next?” and “Will you be famous?” Come on, we all know girls only care about talking on the phone, becoming the next Paris Hilton, and pink woo bullshit.
  • Being attractive and feminine in the sciences isn’t easy. Go read about this chemist who also happened to be an NFL cheerleader, and the stereotypes she faced along the way. I actually think being more of a tomboy has helped me avoid negative stereotypes – which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Sherlock Holmes too gay? Is that even possible?

Robert Downey Jr., sexy sexy man and star of the new Sherlock Holmes movie, was recently on Letterman and made the following statements:

Letterman: “Now, from what I recall, there was always the suggestion that there was a different level of relationship between Sherlock and Dr. Watson.”
Downey: “You mean that they were homos…”
Letterman: [Laughs.] “Well…”
Downey: “That is what you’re saying?”
Letterman: “In a manner of speaking, yes…that they were closer than just out solving crimes. It’s sort of touched on in the film, but he has a fiancee, so we’re not certain. Is that right?”
Downey: “She could be a beard. Who knows?”
Paul Shaffer: “What are they, complete screamers? Is that what you’re saying?”
Downey: “Why don’t we observe the clip and let the audience decide if he just happens to be a very butch homosexual. Which there are many. And I’m proud to know certain of them.”

If anyone saw Sherlock Holmes, you can’t deny the occasional homoerotic subtext. I admit my Gay Subtext Dial is turned up higher than most, and I can titter girlishly at almost anything, but some things in this movie were just blatant. Holmes’s jealousy over Watson’s sudden new fiancee. The constant couple-like bickering. Holmes’s devilish sounding “Don’t get too excited” as he’s digging through Watson’s pocket.

Needless to say, I enjoyed the movie.

And needless to say, others did not.

The US copyright holder, Andrea, Plunkett, has threatened to withdraw permission for a sequel if Holmes and Watson become gayer.

She told Total Film: “I hope this is just an example of Mr Downey’s black sense of humour. It would be drastic, but I would withdraw permission for more films to be made if they feel that is a theme they wish to bring out in the future.

“I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books.”

Oh boo.

Is it really not in the spirit of the books? People have been contemplating Holmes’s sexuality for a long while now. He’s attached at the hip to Watson, shows varying levels of fear, disdain, and disinterest in women…and the late 19th century wasn’t exactly a time where one hopped around flamboyantly and wore their homosexuality on their sleeve, so his actions are in alignment with closeted homosexual behavior. It’s personally reasonable to take that sort of interpretation.

And you just know when someone starts with the effective “I’m not a homophobe, but” that they’re about to say something stupid. Renee sums up my sentiment nicely:

When we watch a Sherlock Holmes movie, is it really that disturbing to have the character portrayed as gay? He is not going to whip out his penis like some twinki xxx star instead of a magnify glass to solve crime. It is just a facet of his life, in the same way that it would be a part of heterosexual mans life. Honestly, the hand wringing and whining over teh gay really needs to end. We need to acknowledge that gay men and women are a part of every single society and as such, portrayals of them should be considered acceptable.

And for the people who think that gaying up Holmes would scare people away from the box office…well, I’ve already talked about that. With much fangirling and drool.

Irrational reactions to clothes shopping

I hate clothes shopping. When it comes to my list of Failures at Being a Woman, this probably ranks at number one. I loathe shopping for clothes so much that I will literally put it off for a year or more, continuously coming up with new excuses not to go. Even when I’ve mustered up the strength to go to the mall, I usually only last an hour or so before giving up and leaving.

Why the hatred? To me, it’s just one big trip into poor body image land. Even when I was younger I hated it. I was 5’9″ at age 11, and let me tell you, no pants fit freakishly tall girls. Even “long” juniors pants were too short, and grown-up jeans looked like clown pants on my hips since I hadn’t filled out yet – an 11-year-old girl look more like a ruler than an hourglass. Thankfully I’ve since developed a womanly figure, and finding pants isn’t such a problem.

But if it’s not one thing, it’s another: now I have boobs. I know, I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, right? But finding clothes as a D cup is a pain the ass. One, it happened fairly suddenly so I had to get a new wardrobe – five years as a B, then wham! D cup. Old shirts don’t fit, at least not comfortably. And you’d think in a country where the average cup size is a C that I wouldn’t have such issues, but I feel like Goldilocks. Mediums are too small, with it fitting around my abdomen but my boobs feeling like they’re going to explode out ala Superman or the Hulk (or literally doing so if it’s a button up shirt)*. Larges fit my chest, but are like a tent around the rest of my body. Is it so much to ask for clothing for curvy girls? I’ve even considered having Breast Reduction Surgery in Westchester, NY so that I can find clothes comfortably. Everyone thinks I enjoy having big boobs but really they are just a hassle. You’d think that in a society which is obsessed with big boobs, we’d give them a little more respect.

Even though these seem like fairly practical gripes, I’ll admit most of my aversion is irrational. Not being able to find clothes that fit makes me feel inadequate. I can look in the mirror and feel attractive, I can have others tell me I’m attractive**, but the moment I’m in that changing room, society’s opinion is weighing in. I know it’s stupid to care about the standards of the fashion industry or just society in general, but it’s hard when you’re immersed in it. I’m below the average weight and pant size of an American woman, yet if you use models and actresses (women we constantly see) as a standard I look like a freaking elephant.

The worst part is that if something seems fashionable, trendy, or cute, I feel like I’m not allowed to wear it. I feel self-conscious wearing nice things because it seems totally out of character for me like I’m only supposed to wear boring things that will just make me blend into the background. I’m not sure if I can even explain the feeling other than “You’re not one of those pretty girly girls, so just throw on a t-shirt and jeans.” The idea of getting dolled up for a night out – doing something other than just brushing my hair, putting on any makeup, donning a cute little dress – is just absolutely alien to me. I’m not judging women who do do that – I just feel like I missed out on the Woman Card that gave me clearance to do such things.

Are there others who feel this way, or am unique in my insanity? I hate being so irrational about my appearance mainly because I know it’s irrational. That’s the hard part about being a skeptic. It’s one thing to believe stupid things, but it really stings to know you’re being stupid.

*And the fanboys chant, “Go with the mediums!”
**The point of this post is not to get pity compliments. Please do not regale me with “Well I think you’re hot”s to make me feel better. Just pondering this line of thinking.

How to Meet Atheist Men

You gave advise to guys seeking atheist girls, how about advise for girls seeking atheist guys? You have a boyfriend, right? So you’re a credible source of information.

Exist.

Okay, okay, you know I’m joking. It’s the first thing that popped into my head, but I think it does illustrate a misconception many (but not all) women have about relationships. A lot of us expect guys to make the first move. We may flirt back, but we’re not going to do anything obvious like explicitly stating interest or – heaven forbid – asking the guy out on a date. They need to come to us and figure out vague hints to prove their worth, like some sort of sadistic test all women have agreed upon.

Ladies? Stop it.

I’ve had my fair share of relationships, from serious long term relationships to not so serious nookie. Out of ten guys, only one made the first move (my current boyfriend). Every other time I asked the guy out, went in for the kiss, etc. If I would have waited for a guy to make the first move, I could have had nothing until age 22. Or, more likely, I would have had a relationship earlier, but it would have been prefaced by months of bullshit and waffling.

I know being the aggressive one isn’t for everyone. But I tend to be attracted to shy (or at least socially awkward) guys, so I figured out pretty quickly what I had to do. Are all men going to be happy with the woman being more aggressive? Probably not, but it’s always worked for me. Are some men going to be elated to have women cut through the bullshit? Definitely.

This is more general advice that anything specifically for atheists. I’m not sure what more I can add to my previous post on men finding atheist women, since the same general tips apply. But I have found that in my atheist circles atheist men tend to be more intellectual/nerdy/introverted/socially awkward than guys and general. Obviously this is a generality that is not going to apply to all atheist men (maybe Purdue just fosters uber geeks) – but if that’s the type of guy you go for, just make a move.

If you insist on being cryptic or fear rejection, I’ve found bitching about being single works. It’s waves the giant “Hey fellas, I’m single and hate it, actually receptive to flirting right now!” flag. Some guys won’t make a move if they’re afraid you’re not interested, or already have a boyfriend – so sometimes getting it out there helps. But don’t constantly whine about it, or you’ll start being annoying.

Guys, am I totally off base about this? Gals, am I the only women out here making all the moves?

How to Meet Atheist Women (and not scare them away)

“How do I meet atheist women?” It’s the question asked over and over by other atheists, and answered over and over again by random bloggers. Random male bloggers. I’m not saying men can’t give good dating advice, but it seems logical to me to get an atheist woman‘s point of view since…well, the goal is to attract an atheist woman. I also feel somewhat obligated to write an article on the topic, since “atheist dating” and “how to meet atheist women” are some of the most popular search terms that lead people to my blog, yet I don’t really have a post on it. Of course, using that rationale I’d have to write posts on some pretty strange, kinky stuff, so…scratch that. I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heathen heart.

As a disclaimer, this advice is being generated with straight men in mind. To all the bisexual women and lesbians, you know I love you gals (and most of this advice is probably still applicable), but I’m a straight chick and writing what I know. And even though my many years of listening to Loveline and Dan Savage make me feel like a qualified relationship guru, I’m just some blogger with opinions and a vagina. No suing me if you’re single for life.

The first major problem men seem to have is finding atheist women. There’s not really anything different that you need to do for an atheist woman versus women in general. If you’re a jerk/creep/slob/etc, finding an atheist chick isn’t going to magically solve your girl problems – especially because atheist women have their pick of the litter. We’re not necessarily outnumbered by atheist men, but I think it’s safe to say we’re currently harder to find. Many atheist groups, meetings, and conferences currently have a male bias (the reasons why are for another post), so we have more out atheists to choose from. Women are becoming more out and active, and I suspect we’ll see an equal gender ratio soon – but you need companionship now, so enough of this speculation.

Where to find atheist women:

  • Local atheist organizations: Starting with something painfully obvious, go to your local atheist/skeptic/freethinker meetings. Some have better gender ratios than others, but if you’re looking for someone who’s active and vocal about her atheism, it’s the place to go. Unitarian Universalists also tend to attract a lot of atheist women, so don’t count them out.
  • Other nerdy or liberal organizations: Looking for clubs is probably easiest for those of us at college or in a big city, so I apologize to all of you atheists living in the middle of nowhere. Don’t limit your search to explicitly atheistic organizations – not all atheists need a club for their atheism, and you can find them elsewhere. A lot of (but not all) atheists tend to also be science oriented, geeky, and or liberal – so take an Evolution course, check out the Anime club, or get active in your local ACLU. Obviously, pick things that also interest you (more on this later).
  • Artsy, non-traditional hangouts: As an artist I can speak pretty confidently on this one – for every artist that’s crazy into woo, there’s one who thinks it’s bullshit. Artsy people tend to be pretty non-traditional and independent, and that can manifest itself in anything from weird spirituality to rabid rejection of religious dogma. Even the woo ones tend to be fairly tolerant of atheists, since they’re at least not following the man. Or something like that. Check out local coffee shops, art galleries, poetry readings, or any other avant-garde events you may find.
  • The internet: Online dating may weird some people out, but I know women (atheist women!) who have had it work out great for them. OkCupid is teeming with atheists, to the point where talking about atheism greatly increases your number of replies (and religious talk is a conversation stopper). There are also plenty of atheist women who blog (woo!), comment on blogs, post in atheist forum, tweet, put videos on YouTube, etc. However, don’t be a stalker (more on this later).
  • Let them find you: If you’re comfortable with your atheism and don’t feel like it’ll get you lynched (people in the Bible Belt may want to ignore this advice), wear it proudly! Put on a skeptical shirt. Wear a scarlet A or Flying Spaghetti Monster pin. Deck out your backpack or man purse with heathen buttons. Decorate your lap top with skeptical stickers. Read the God Delusion or any other godless book in public. I know I’ll usually at least say “nice book/sticker/etc” or give a smile to a kindred atheist – that can be your opening to start a conversation. Now, doing all of these things at once may come off as overkill – you don’t want to be a walking billboard for atheism (as cool as our billboards are) unless you only want a woman who’d appreciate that. But small things do help. If you’re out, it’s more likely someone will find you or you’ll pique her interest. When I was single, friending a new acquaintance on Facebook and seeing that he lists himself as “atheist” or “Pastafarian” or “Jedi” definitely made me interested. Once I was tempted to drive after a cute guy because he also had a Darwin fish on his car. Being out pays!

So you’ve finally found an elusive atheist woman – but now what? You don’t want to frighten her away by being too forward, but you don’t want to miss your chance by being too passive. It’s a lot like catching that Chansey in the Safari Zone – you need a happy medium and a bit of luck. Or with a lot of luck, you’ll find a woman who loves Dawkins and can make random Pokemon references.

How to not scare atheist women away:

  • Don’t be a poser: Remember when I listed all those cool hobbies and clubs you should frequent because they may have atheist women? Only go to the ones that you’re actually interested in. I’m not saying you have to be a master of whatever subject the club focus on – novices are often welcomed in organizations so they can cultivate their interest. But if you have absolutely no interest in Astronomy and you’re hanging around just to pick up some godless chicks, stop. Women will find out you’re feigning interest just to get in their pants, and it’s creepy.
  • Remember that women are people, not just mates: While you may be on the prowl for a date, that doesn’t mean every woman is too. Atheist women will go to clubs and coffee shops because they enjoy club activities and want a cappuccino. They’ll partake in atheist activities on the internet without the goal of a relationship in mind. That’s not to say they’re completely unwelcoming to flirting – but constant flirting from every atheist with a penis does get old (Obvious Tip: Don’t stare at boobs). It’s enough to scare women away from atheist meetings because they’re seen as a piece of meat rather than a fellow human being. If you follow the previous tip about being sincere about your interests, you should have common topics to talk about instead of coming off as desperate. Or at the very least, try to recognize when your advances are unwanted – I suggest all men go read Schrodinger’s Rapist to see how many women perceive unwanted flirtation.
  • Have interests other than atheism: I am a very active atheist activist – I’m President of a club, I blog, I’m outspoken – but I have other interests. I have favorite books, TV shows, foods, sports, hobbies, etc. I am a person, and so is every other atheist women. When you meet one of us, the conversation shouldn’t only be over how religion is silly and Richard Dawkins is awesome. Not only will you seem a bit one sided and obsessive, but it’ll also make it seem like you’re not really interested in us as a whole. This is especially true if you’re dealing with a non-rabid atheist chick – she may not want to discuss religion at all.
  • Don’t stereotype atheist women: I know this whole post I’ve been speaking in generalities, so this seems a bit hypocritical, but it really is important. Don’t assume all atheist women are alike just because they’re atheists. Some may be science oriented, and some may be bored to tears by your geek talk. Some may joke about eating babies, and some may punch you for such a crass joke. Some may be all about promiscuous sex and kinky orgies, and some may be waiting for marriage. This is yet another reason why communication is key; you just can’t judge someone’s personality, interests, and political beliefs because of their lack of religion.
  • Look presentable: I didn’t want to delve into general dating tips, but this is so important that I have to mention it. You don’t have to be endowed with fabulously handsome good looks, but simple effort to look decent is noted. Shave, unless you’re one of the few men who can pull off the sexy rugged look (if you’re not sure, you probably can’t). Wear deodorant. For the love of FSM, shower. You’d think by now I wouldn’t have to say that, but I’ve seen far too much greasy, unkempt bed head in my days at Purdue. I personally don’t care about clothes as long as they’re clean, but not every woman is as fashion apathetic as I am – something other than baggy sweatshirt can give you that extra bonus point over the other atheist guys. I fully understand that everyone has their bad day – I’ve stumbled off to meetings looking horrible and not giving a damn – but consistent sloven appearance leaves a lasting impression. If these suggestions sound patronizing, then you’ve probably been doing it right all along and they’re not for you. If they seem like novel ideas, I suggest you take my advice.

Hopefully by now you can locate an atheist woman and get her to talk to you long enough to persuade her that you’re not a giant creeper: congratulations! But if you’re still having trouble, here are a couple of more tips:

  • Don’t judge a book by its cover: A giant studded cross necklace or religious t-shirts don’t automatically mean the woman wearing them is religious. I know my friends and I own some religious merchandise for irony’s sake – because nothing is funnier than an in-joke of an atheist wearing that tacky “Jesus Saves” lifeguard shirt. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – now women are camouflaged? Why do they have to make it so difficult?! I guess it’s just to teach you a lesson that you need to get to know a person before judging them. Sorry, guys.
  • Lame atheist pick up lines are still lame: No, you are not the first guy to joke about your noodly appendage. No, doing the “I just wanted to tell you about Jesus – jk, I’m an atheist and Christians are dumb” switch isn’t funny either (about 25% of the messages I receive on OkCupid do this; not creative, guys).
  • Don’t rule out non-atheists: Agnostics, deists, and “spiritual but not religious” types should be dating options as well – don’t rule out someone who may have a little woo in their life. And while I believe you should never go into a relationship with the goal of changing someone, people without strong religious beliefs can and often do become atheists. Sometimes it’s from being around an atheist so much, but other times it’s because they were an atheist all along but never comfortable enough to admit it.

Like always, questions and comments are welcome. Particularly insightful and helpful tips may be added to this post if deemed worthy. I’m not sure what else to tell you other than good luck!

Pin-up Priests

Apparently a traditional calendar in Rome, Calendario Romano, features hunky Roman Catholic priests. Photographer Piero Pazzi shoots these sexy men of the cloth to raise money and awareness for the Vatican. Even though it’s been nicknamed the “Vatican Beefcake Calendar,” the Holy See doesn’t endorse it and pretty much turns a blind eye. Hey, money and women* lining up for church services – it’s a win-win situation!
File this in the category of “Things that make Jen both happy and sad at the same time” (with relevant facebook groups here and here).

Unfortunately the calendar is already sold out. Darn. Guess we’ll have to stick to the Skepchick and Skepdude calendars (if they ever announce when they’re coming out!).

EDIT: Apparently there are Mormon pin-up calendars too (thanks Jake). Yowza, maybe that’s why they can only wear dorky short sleeve dress shirts and ties – to cover up their six packs. Oh, and I love how the female calendar, while sexy as hell, still manages to stereotype all women as mothers who are great at baking. Who occasionally pose seductively. Mind. Exploding.

*Shhh, let’s not mention the gays, or they may stop publishing this.
(Via Carnal Nation)

Darwin Fashion Show

British fashion designer Alexander McQueen unveiled his new collection inspired by Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species:

“Models with their hair teased into devil-like horns, strutted the catwalk in minidresses decorated with all manner of colourful, elaborate skins. Ruffled hemlines were frilled to resemble feathers, and vibrant fabrics were printed to resemble amphibian-like breastplates.”

Actually I have no idea what any of these costumes have to do with evolution, but I felt compelled to post them since they combined my biology love with my horrible fascination with America’s Next Top Model. Aka, I like sparkly weird costumes. I guess this was a better idea than having all of the models wearing giant beards, or having each outfit gradually change over time. That would be a long, not so interesting fashion show.

Science, Boobies, and Breast Cancer

October is Breast Cancer awareness month. There are all sorts of days and weeks and months designated to promoting awareness of worthy causes, but breast cancer is especially important to me since my mother is a survivor. She was diagnosed the summer before my senior year of high school, which would be a little over four years ago. My mom was very lucky in that she caught the cancer early because of her persistent self examination. She felt a lump, but the doctors didn’t believe her – she nagged them and had more than one mammogram before they realized she did, in fact, have breast cancer. If she hadn’t been checking herself and been so diligent, I’m afraid to think what would have happened to her.

I have to admit, at the time I wasn’t really too worried. It was probably a combination of me being young and naive, and knowing that she had caught it early enough that her prognosis was good. My general mantra for dealing with bad things in life is don’t worry about what may happen, just do your best to avoid it and fret when it actually does happen. To me, we just had to be level headed, get treatment, and hope for the best. If her status worsened, then I could start freaking out. Not only do I have an oddly unemotional approach to life, but my mom was a fighter. She tried not to let it show how sick the chemotherapy made her, or how sad she was about losing her hair. Instead she would buy trendy hats or talk about how maybe she’d be more stylish by keeping her hair short after her treatment.

She even said the cancer didn’t upset her – the thing she feared the most is that she wouldn’t be able to watch my senior golf season because she would be too weak (I was the captain of my team and one of the best players in the region). My mom scheduled her chemo and radiation around my golf schedule, so she would be sick on my practices and well enough to walk with my Dad and follow me during my matches and tournaments.

She would brag to the nurses how her daughter was going to go study genetics and maybe solve all of these problems. While I’m not in cancer research and there’s not going to be some magical “cure” that works for every type of cancer, she still recognizes the roll that science plays in saving lives. I’ve said before that my mom is sort of a deist, but I don’t remember a single time her asking for people to pray for her, or referencing religion in any way. What I do remember is discussing treatments, what certain chemicals do, how radiation actually works… How I was learning about cancer in human genetics, and she would ask me how exactly cancer starts, how likely you are to get it, if her cancer means I’ll get breast cancer, if certain genetic tests were worth while… We talked about science.

Science saves lives, and it can only get better at saving lives if they have money and support. Visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation for information or to donate. Susan G. Komen for the Cure has a good review on breast self exams, for those of you with boobies (or with girlfriends whose boobies you like to prod). For those of you in the twitterverse, you can participate in #boobiewednesday to show your support for breast cancer research by tweeting about it and changing your avatar to a photo of your chest (yet more incentive to follow me on twitter*)!

I know there are some feminists who hate boob campaigns, like selling shirts that say “I Love Boobies”, because they say it reduces woman to their breasts. To an extent, I understand. Breast cancer research isn’t about saving boobs, it’s about saving women. If a woman has lost her breasts, that doesn’t make her any less human. But I don’t think these movements mean any harm. They’re just exploiting people’s infantile humor (omg boobies lol) in order to raise money for a good cause. It would be lovely if people would just donate money out of the goodness of their heart, but they don’t…so the way I see it, let’s milk boobie humor (haha, get it?) for all it’s worth. In the end, it’s saving lives.

*No, you don’t get a bigger version of that pic. You’ll have to live with 48 pixels.

Blogging is serious business

It seems like I’ve been on a trend of ranty/serious blogging lately. While I enjoy reading the discussions that go on in the comments, they also start to drain on me after a while. So, here, have something silly:

Me: Will you take my picture? I want a before shot, while I’m still female
Friend: Sure. No, pose more girly.
Me: KayAmerica’s Next Top Model, I am not. I can totally imagine Nigel telling me that my hand looks like a claw or Tyra saying I’m not smizing enough (yes, I fully expect you all to shun me for watching that stupid show). Oh, and sunburn from our Pastafarian preaching, yay!

But then the clock struck 8, and instead of turning into a pumpkin, I turned into……a skeevy used car salesman! I mean, a male! Actually, with my hair down I looked eerily like Penn Jillette, which would explain my magic trick of making my D-cups disappear.

Yes, Friday night I held a drag party. I think that’s an acceptable excuse for not blogging.

Best Skeptical Shirt Ever

If you haven’t figured this out already, I’ve been in love with Threadless shirts for a little over 4 years now. They make up the majority of my wardrobe because 1) They’re awesome 2) I hate shopping, and I know they fit me. I actually haven’t bought any in a while because nothing has jumped out at me, but I literally just flailed at this new one released today:Excuse me while I go spend my hard earned money on cynical clothing.

This guy needs to learn the term “slashers”

From the New York Post (emphasis mine):

Guy Ritchie’s plan to put a gay spin on the relationship of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in his new movie about the detective and his sidekick could backfire.

Robert Downey Jr, who plays Holmes, has revealed the crimebuster will sleep with and have sweaty grappling scenes with Watson, played by Jude Law, in “Sherlock Holmes,” due out Christmas Day.

“We’re two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s bad-ass,” Downey told Britain’s News of the World. Added much-in-the-news Law: “Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.”

But Michael Medved, a former Post movie critic, says Downey and Law must be joking. “There’s not a seething, bubbling hunger to see straight stars impersonating homosexuals,” Medved told us. “I think they’re just trying to generate controversy . . . They know that making Holmes and Watson homosexual will take away two-thirds of their box office. Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don’t think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don’t want to see it.

*raises hand*

This man has clearly never talked to a straight woman who wasn’t a fundamentalist or an uber-conservative. Are you shitting me? When I saw the trailer for Sherlock Holmes I flailed with girlish glee, which honestly doesn’t happen too often. But a Sherlock Holmes movie? With Robert Downey Jr.? And Jude Law? Dressed in period clothing? Bickering like an old married couple with homoerotic undertones? Fuck yeah, eye candy. I’ll happily shell out eight bucks for that.

If you could assure me Downey Jr. and Jude Law would make out, first I would cry tears of joy, then I would probably go back multiple times. As would a very large number of women (proof? go read the comments on this LJ thread). We’re the people who saw Brokeback Mountain for teh gay (actually didn’t like it, but that’s because I went for the gay, and I usually hate those kinds of movies). We’re the people who shat bricks of pure bliss when Harry Potter Book 6 essentially made Harry/Draco canon. We’re 95% of the people who read and write slash (homosexual) fanfiction – the straight gals, not the gay guys. We are more than enough to make up for the homophobes that would be scared away.

I highly doubt the movie will have anything more than homoerotic subtext, but that’s fine by me. Imagining what’s really happening it half the fun anyway. And if it wasn’t nearly 3 am, I’d have some insightful comment as to why straight women love homoeroticism, and how this mirrors men’s stereotypical love of lesbians. But it is 3 am, so I’ll just leave it at this:

Bow chicka wow wow

Oh yeah? Well our atheist club has superheros for officers!

I finally got around to doing a little housecleaning around the Society of Non-Theists’s website. Freshmen should start poking around for club information in a couple weeks, so I wanted to make it look like we actually do stuff (which we do!). And I finally got around to updating the Contact page with some officer bios so it looks like we’re actually normal (well, relatively) human beings with actual personalities.

It amuses me to no end that we have a blonde, brunette, and red head. It’s so delightfully stereotypical. I keep having images of Charlie’s Angels or the Power Puff Girls or any superheroine trio. And having three women as officers is definitely going to help club attendance – girls will feel welcome, and boys well…yeah, I don’t need to explain why boys will come.

Now if I can only convince my fellow officers that we all need matching spandex outfits…then club attendance would increase by 1000%.*

*If I hear about people contacting the officers in order to be creepy instead of real club business, I will smite you.