Usually I have a rule about No Christmas Stuff Before Thanksgiving, but I’m breaking it for this special occasion – the American edition of The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas is coming out next Tuesday, on November 2nd! It’s not just any godless book; I’m one of the 42* contributors! There will be a (hopefully) humorous chapter by yours truly called “Gifts for the Godless.” This is my first time having a creative piece published, so needless to say, I’m super exited. Not only will I be alongside people I look up to like Richard Dawkins, Phil Plait, and Simon Singh, but it’s for a good cause – all author advances and royalties go to the Terrence Higgins Trust.

November 2nd also happens to be my 23rd birthday. Since I can think of no better present for myself, how about I give a present to you? …And by that I mean “My editor is hooking me up with a couple free copies to give away at my discretion, how about I distribute them in a fun way?”

So, time for a contest!

Write new lyrics for an old Christmas carol that have a godless or scientific theme.


  1. Post your entries in the comments. If you’re one of those people who’s still having trouble commenting, feel free to email your entry to me.
  2. Make sure to include an email address when you log in or in the body of your post. If you win, I need to contact you about a mailing address.
  3. Arbitrary bonus points will be awarded for things like humor, Blag Hag inside jokes, and singing your song or making a video.
  4. And really, my rules are lax – if you want to remake a famous Christmas-themed story or poem, or do godless lyrics for the dreidel song, I don’t care. Really, just make something in the spirit of the contest that you think I’d like, since I get to pick the winners.

Entries are due Monday, Nov 1st at 5pm PST. I’ll announce the winners the morning of the 2nd!

And remember, the American edition is different than the version that came out in the UK last year. There are a bunch of new authors, like me. So even if you have that version, you may want to check out the new one!

*Yes, that choice of number is intentional. Don’t you want to win it even more?